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Guys,
Ever spoken and wished you could take the words back, or that you
could crawl into a hole? Here are a few people who do.
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blo*
job?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband
didn_t say a word. he knew better.
Melinda Lowe, 39,
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An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage
insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I
wanted to follow as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to
run and get me a pad. He came back and handed me a Kotex right in front of
our guest.
Kathy Newman, 46
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I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom
and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked
adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came
out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our
Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing
hysterically, and suggesting I take a closer look.
Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in
addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror -
wearing nothing but a camera!
Name Withheld
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I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I
was unhappy with the women_s type I had been using. After browsing for
several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking
gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if He could help me. Without
thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men_s
balls."
Colleen Collins, 31
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my sister and I were at the mall and passed by a
store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy
behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I_m just
looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the
boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my
sister has never let me forget.
Faye Emerick, 34
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While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold
other after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don_t let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy_s pee-pee last night!" The
silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers
stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard
when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.
Amy Richardson
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Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I
was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick
lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While
enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked
my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that
Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed
to go, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an
accident, and I don_t have any clothes with me." Then I said,
"Danny, are you SURE you didn_t have an accident?"
"No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo! I asked one more time,
"Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his
pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled.
"SEE MOM, IT_S JUST FARTS!" While 30 people nearly choked to death
on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they_d
ever had!
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This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a
very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely
think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don_t get
any.a true story.We had a female news anchor who, the day
after it was supposed to have snowed and didn_t, turned to the weatherman
and asked: "So Bob, where_s that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too,
they were laughing so hard!
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