Management Lessons

Lesson No.1

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.A small rabbit saw
the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day
long?"

The crow answered: " Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
very, very high up.

Lesson No.2

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven_t got the
energy." "Well, why don_t you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied
the bull. "They_re packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump
of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the
first branch of the tree.The next day, after eating some more dung, he
reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was
proudly perched at the top of the tree.

Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the
tree.

Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won_t keep
you there.

Lesson No.3

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain
said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body_s responses and
functions." The feet said, " We should be Boss as we carry the brain
about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should
be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." And so
it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally
the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole
being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and
refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands
clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the
brain fevered.Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the
Boss.

Management Lesson: You don_t need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will
do.

Antantas: As nemoketi prancuziskai

It is said that this is from an actual trial in the UK:
A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her third move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested.
The case came before the court, the young man was asked why he acted in such a manner. His reply was: When the lady boarded the bus I couldnt help noticing she was pregnant. she sat under an advertisement which read _Coming Soon:The Gold Dust Twins_.
I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement, which read:_William_s Stick Did The Trick_.
Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move she sat under an advertisement which read _ Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident._
The case was dismissed.:-)))

Management Lessons
Lesson No.1
Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
very, very high up.

Hmm. Labai idomu. As shi anekdota-pasakecia girdejau mokykloje mazdaug 1983 ir zinoma lietuviu kalba. Matyt draugu tarpe buvo revoliucijos prieshu, kurie visa tai uzrashe ir perdave i vakarus. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Atejo eziukas i kirpykla.

Zmona atsigula vakare i lova miegoti, girda kazkas siugzda spintoj. Atsikelia atsidaro spinta ziuri ogi jos rubai iseina is mados.